My Words

Don’t come looking for what you don’t want to find Stay in your shelter, keep safe with the people that make you feel protected from the ones that stray to a foreign place A temporary dwelling that gives them reassurance of a better one Stand by the people that make you feel something that gives you inspiration to love inspiration to feel anything inspiration to live Be a part of the ones that stay behind enduring what has been given to them and nothing else Do not expect to find anything you were looking for We are not anything but a couple of flaws in a problem too large to find the mistakes worth fixing It’s the ones that come looking that lose themselves completely in the midst of the ones to careless to speak up They become lost too and the ones that become lost but can leave… those are the ones that become distant enough to be a part of the story 

Do you ever long for a place for the mangled the dismembered tortured souls So much wanting to fit in to the damaged and distraught that you ran away from the life you wished for your loved ones You gave it up, you set it free. You gave it up to feel a part of something important You gave it up because you want to find a place where you don’t have to be a stranger to yourself Destroy yourself countless times. Devastate your expectations Run away from the light that exposes the need to feel wanted. Hide away in a deep dangerous state Don’t let them find the places you sell yourself for worth If you decide to abandon everything that gives you hope then maybe, one day, you’ll be privileged enough to be damaged broken and weak enough to feel an ounce of self worth maybe even strong enough to write about it

just because you feel lifeless, doesn’t mean you can just stop going... push to be something better tomorrow. Push to be something better now. Things are changing constantly. You can either keep up with it or be lost in the dust that life kicks up behind it. Don’t be lost. Find others while finding yourself. Lose it again and again…never find out how the system works. Keep learning, keep falling off the edge, but never disconnect yourself from what keeps you from climbing back up again. Carry on because when the day ends and the night finally comes, you don’t have to sleep with it, you can revel in its beauty. Find a settlement with the air before it turns cold for the morning dew. And when the sun comes back know that you’ve made another day your victory. You have pushed, you have survived, you have become another lifeless walker amongst a sea of them all…make this the difference between you and them:  even though lifeless in your own being, you know how to appreciate the life aro...

What  I would give to feel again...to be able to know the life around me as I did before this. Before the constant deception, the damaging words, the bruised lies. Before you turned me numb. What I would give to love again...to be able to wear my heart on my sleeve with the confidence of a god as I did before this. Before the heart break, the false misconceptions, the shattered pieces you left for me to pick up by myself. Before you turned me cold. What I would give to see again...to be able to find the goodness in everyone as I did before this. Before the misleading masks, the fake smiles, the deeply sad eyes that were mistaken for happy. Before you turned me blind. What I would give to just be again...to be able to move without the feeling of carrying a skeleton on my back. Before you exhausted all the life in me...before you wore me down..before you wrecked me. Before you turned me into this.

From the beginning, we’ve been frozen in a deadened state. But, the room around us slowly catches fire and the things that were so masochistic in our cold hearts go up in flames. Within seconds, everything we knew is one big pile of ash. Nothing is distinguishable. Nothing remains except the burns from the once existent flames. The thing about fire is that it disappears after there’s no oxygen left for it to swallow up. It leaves us gasping for air as it transforms our life giving surroundings into smoke filled poison. The air, or what remains of it, is black. What’s behind us is synonymous to what is in front of us. Nothing makes sense and we can’t deviate from the thick cloud suffocating our lungs. But we don’t let it bother us because in the end, burning is far better than being numb. The emotionless cold that we once lived in was unbearable. The thing about the cold is that there are no scars to remind us of the things we’ve endured. That’s why, more often than...

If you are anything like me, you are just trying to survive the winter without completely transforming into an icicle...and getting through Valentine's Day without taking a total mental turn for the worse. Valentine's Day can be fun!...if you have a significant other to spend it with. Being surrounded by couples does not make it any better either, but thankfully, Galentine's Day is a day before and one hundred times better!  Thanks to Leslie Knope and her desperate need for love on Valentine's Day, we now have Galentine's Day! This is a day dedicated to kicking it with your girl friends and appreciating the most important people in your life before the boyfriends and husbands. This has turned me from a Valentine hater to a Galentine lover! You get to spend a whole day with the better halves of  all  relationships and it helps remind those "drowning in love," that their friends come first and are willing to save them if need be. For those of you in relat...

Numbers I am no expert of all the numbers in the world But for six I am quite certain. Together we start our journey at 12 12: For the number of times you tried to open your locker on the first day of school and for the number of times that you predictably failed. The minutes late you were to class everyday And 12 pounds that your backpack constantly weighed 12 for the number of times your mom asked on the phone when to pick you up and for the 12 times you replied “I don’t know.” 12 times a day you feared that you would bump into an upperclassman while running to lunch Because those were the things we worried about at 12 Next comes the big 1-3 We’re all teenagers and completely untouchable 13 for the number of relationships you went through in a month And for the 13 times your mom told you it was “their loss” 13 friends trying to squeeze at a 12 person lunch table and always feeling like the one left out 13 stories Mr. Knuth would share about hi...